Category Archives: Life

When your dry cleaner mistakes your (admittedly short) dress for a shirt and charges you $6 instead of $15 (which is insane, btw) to remove the beer stains c/o the Bonobos-wearing boy who (lovingly) poured his drink down your back, just nod your … Continue reading →

If you have actually eschewed all practical and sartorial advice and continue to wear billowy shirts and dresses with absolutely NO shape and TONS of excess fabric, then you have no right to be offended when someone mistakes you for … Continue reading →

 –call her up and tell her that someone very close to her has died. Give her all the gruesome details and let her have a good cry. 10 minutes later, call back and explain that you were jk’ing, but “FYI, … Continue reading →

 The next time that kinda stinky homeless man or crotch-grabbing construction worker gives you a whistle or a little kitty cat call, respond with a pleasant “thank you” (as long as bodily parts weren’t exposed). One day you’ll be old … Continue reading →

Don’t want to waste all those bothersome calories on food when there are loads of vodka sodas to be consumed? That’s cool. But there’s no need for you to order four appetizers, an entrée, three side dishes and two desserts … Continue reading →

Choose something that is widely and publicly considered to be a  terrible thing and abstain from it with all your might. That way, no matter how drunk or slutty you get or however many bad decisions you make, you can always … Continue reading →