Earrings Are For Novices–What GAWs Leave At Guys’ Apartments

 Purposefully leaving your earrings at a guy’s apartment to guarantee another rendezvous is so…OBVIOUS.

GAWs get more creative. Here are some tips to get your game up to par, grrrl!

–leave your cat. Without food. Or its seizure medication. Or its specialty diapers (so sad, we know. But romance calls for sacrifices!).

–leave your cellphone on his nightstand and then run home, email your mother, and demand her to call you—nonstop–for 24 hours. If he answers the phone, your mother has to pretend to be a man and say, “Where has your fine ass been all day?” and then hang up. Each and every time. This will make you seem desirable. Since you won’t be able to call your man to schedule a proper pick-up, show up, unannounced, wearing a trench coat and nothing else. It will be JUST LIKE IN THE MOVIES!!!

–casually forget a thong with his initials drawn onto the front in black permanent marker. This will let him know you care.

–leave a box of tampons. He will be too scared to touch them, therefore, your presence will be immediately requested to dispose of the unsightly contraptions.

–leave your whip. If he knows how important your dominatrix classes are, he would hate for you to miss one because you didn’t have your equipment.

–when he’s not looking, tear off your fake eyelashes and lay them to rest on his bathroom counter. This way, since you obviously crept out while he was still asleep (but not before sneaking a peak at his mail, just to remind yourself of his first name) when you return to pick up your “forgotten” loot, he can see the REAL you. And everyone knows the guys care about what’s on the inside, not outside. This will be an important step forward in your relationship.

–your virginity: You’d like it back, thank you.

–leave a smelly, old high school t-shirt that’s still sweaty from your days spent running track. When you get home, call him up and say, “Geez…can’t believe you begged to sleep in my old t-shirt just so you’d have to see me again. Okay! You win! Be over in five! And no, you totally don’t have to wash it, silly.” He may be confused. But it’ll only be a matter of time before he’s in L.O.V.E.

–leave the keys to your apartment. I mean, why doesn’t EVERY girl just do this? It basically guarantees two dates in one day since it’s not like you can go home and wait a night to see him again!! Lock him down for a third date and girlfriend, I’ve got two words for you: wedding bouquet.

–leave your water bottle with the words “Must drink tomorrow or will die” engraved onto it.

Advertisements
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Earrings Are For Novices–What GAWs Leave At Guys’ Apartments

  1. Colleen says:

    The eyelashes thing totally worked for me last week.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s