The Never-Before-Told Best TWO Tips on How to Master The Game of Hard-to-Get

 

1) Sleep. Like, sleep a lot. Sleep for 15 hours a night if possible, and take a minimum 2-hour snooze at the office during the day. Doze off while you’re waiting for the subway. Close your eyes when crossing the street. Don’t think it’s possible to sleep for so long? Drink red wine. And take drugs that make you want a nappy nap. Watch the first 15 minutes of Drew Barrymore’s teen-days flick Doppleganger. If you’re not awake when he calls/texts/emails/FB pokes you (we will have to devote a separate post on how to ignore real-live pokes), then there is no way you can answer his messages. GENIUS? We KNOW!!! I mean, it’s tempting to be so available at so many points throughout the day especially if you actually like the guy, so that’s why it’s utterly imperative to sleep the majority of those available hours away. Your constant “unavailable” status will drive him nuts—but in the love-sick kind of way. And you, my sleeping beauty, will not only get the man of your dreams, but imagine how much weight you will lose when you’re only up to eat for a handful of hours a day. Win, win, as far as we’re concerned.

2) Only give your information out to the ugliest, skeeviest, least-successful men you can possibly find in the dingiest of places you visit. That way, when one said man calls you (“I can’t believe that hot babe gave me her digits. Wowza”) you will be so repulsed by the presence of his number on your caller ID that it will take everything in your power not to toss your phone out the window, let alone, answer his message in a remotely timely manner.

Now that, Grown-Ass Women, is how you play hard-to-get.

WHAT ARE YOUR TIPS?

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2 Responses to The Never-Before-Told Best TWO Tips on How to Master The Game of Hard-to-Get

  1. oldpal says:

    Ignore facebook messages all weekend starting at 5pm on friday. When you respond on Monday explain you have a no facebook on the weekend rule. Makes it look like you’re too busy doing yoga/roller blading/painting with your shirt off. Boom!

  2. Blogger says:

    Extra points if you thereafter post photos of said activities. On a Wednesday, of course.

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