The Spanx Quandary

You donned Spanx out. And congrats! They worked. Guys were totally lusting after your hot, unnaturally svelte figure. So what do you do with those suckers once you actually go home with the unknowingly Spanx-smitten lad?

Some ideas below:

–take him to your place. Run to the bathroom, strip out of Spanx, hide them under your sink, and emerge, sans panties, in all your glory. Never could he have dreamed getting you out of your pants would be such a seamless task.

–when he’s not looking, slip Spanx off and place them in his freezer. The next morning, remove Spanx from freezer and wrap them around your head like a trendy turban. Instant hangover cure! And a fashionable accessory for any lady’s stride of pride home.

–use Spanx as a slingshot to propel late-night feed into one another’s mouths.

–use Spanx as an extra sturdy pillowcase. Because for some reason, the guys you go home with never seem to have cases on their pillows.

–put them in boy’s sock drawer and when he goes to pull out his hidden box of condoms (who he is hiding them from, we don’t know.¤.¤.), yell—”Wow, that’s one big condom!”

–don’t get so wasted that you forget you’re wearing Spanx. Especially if they are nude. Awk.

–instead of leaving a note when you sneak out of his apartment at 6:30 a.m., just leave your control-top stockings with “Spanx a lot for a fun night” scrolled onto them in red lipstick.

–don’t do anything. When he sees the Spanx, stare him dead center in the eye and say, “And you thought the bra clasp was a doozy.”

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One Response to The Spanx Quandary

  1. Alejandra says:

    In my past single days, I would often go out with an extra pair of sexy non-spanx underwear in my purse. Whenever I found myself in a situation of imminent spanx-revelation, i would excuse myself to the bathroom and swap out the spanx for the sexy underwear.

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